The Art of Effective Communication: Distinguishing Between Fighting and Arguing

"My partner and I got in a fight"... did you though? There is a difference between a fighting and arguing. Conflict, in itself, isn’t bad. It’s how we engage with our partner during a conflict that can be hurtful to your relationship.

Fighting

In a fight, we don’t go in with the common interest to resolve the issue, it's not us against the problem, it's me vs you. You're there to win and you're goal is to prove that you're right and they're wrong, sometimes at your partner's expense. You're not willing to hear their side. Fights happen when you go into the conversation when you're high on the fight or flight scale. It gets personal and hurtful easily.

Arguing

Arguing is a conversation where two people voice their opinions and feelings, going in to it with the common goal of resolving the issue. It's us against the problem. This does not necessarily mean that raised voices do not happen while arguing.

Arguing helps you identify concerns that need to be addressed as well as the things you want or don't want in a relationship.

Fighting hurts relationships while arguing is healthy for long lasting relationships.

With Love,

Aude