Navigating Emotional Disconnection: Shedding Light on the Reasons Your Partner May Be Distant

There are so many reasons why your partner may be creating distance between the two of you. Although it is so easy to take it personally, it might not be. It might not have anything to do with you or your relationship at all!

What are the first thoughts that come to mind when your partner doesn't reply to you, being distant or asks for some space?

• What's going on?

• Why the sudden change?

• What did I do wrong?

• I did something wrong.

• I said something wrong.

• Are they mad at me?

• I hurt their feelings.

• They lost interest in me.

• They found someone else.

• They're cheating on me.

• I'm too needy.

Right? Right? Where are my fellow over-thinkers at?

Ok, ok...Maybe what your brain is telling you is right, but maybeeeee, just maybe, it's not.

Babe, what if ... hear me out ... it's not personal?

What if they're being distant because...

• They, very simply, just crave alone time.They need space. Maybe their social batteries have run out.

• They need time to process their emotions wether it's about you or not.

• They are stressed out or overwhelmed about something that has nothing to do with you or their relationship.

• They are simply busy/preoccupied.

• They feel like things are doing too fast and needs to slow down.

• They don't realize that you think they're being distant. Maybe your expectations of how often you want to see or hear from them isn't clear to them.

• They are prioritizing something else right now. It could be self-care, school, work, family, their alone time, goals, self-growth, etc...

• They don't know how to express/say something to you and need time to put the words together.

So what do I do, then?

Communicate - acknowledge and verbalize that you feel the distance. It may look like "hey sweetie, lately I've been noticing some distance between us." Try not to make assumptions. Assumptions are your enemy.

Don't make it about you, it might not have anything to do with you. Share what you've been noticing (think facts more than emotions, like how much time it's been since _____ happened).

Is the distance intentional? Ask them.

Air things out! Let them explain if they want to. Listen empathetically. You'll have your chance to talk, but right now just listen and pay attention.

Voice your concerns and how it makes you feel.

Respect their boundaries. Give them space.

Wether they're needing space because of their concerns about you, the relation or something COMPLETELY SEPARATE, you not giving them that space will not help.

With Love,

Aude.