A Blueprint for Love: Crafting a Relationship Contract to Foster Mutual Happiness

What?

Don't you worry, it's not about a literal legal binding contract. A relationship contract is talking to your partner(s) about the parameter, limits, roadmap, deal breakers, and boundaries of your relationship.

This can include anything from housework, to sex and intimacy expectations, what counts as cheating, family involvement, finances, social events, sleeping arrangements, handling arguments, how often you go out, etc...

How do we divide housework, cleaning, and cooking?

How often do you expect to have sex?

What counts as cheating for you?

How involved are our families going to be in our relationship?

How do we divide bills and payments?

Do you expect me to go to social events with you? How often do we see each other? How often do we talk?

Do we sleep in the same bed? How often do you expect us to spend the night together?

How do you handle arguments?

How often do you want to going out on dates? How often do you want to go out with your friends?

etc...

Why?

A relationship contract is a tool that can be used to help couples map out and agree on what really matters to them and what will be necessary for long-term satisfaction of all the involved parties.

Of course, it isn't possible to map out everything that you might need to tackle as a couple all at once. A relationship contract can be changed over time and be added onto. It is an ongoing conversation.

How?

Craft your own relationship contract! There's no cheating off of someone else's paper, haha! Sorry babe, it's not that easy. Someone else's contract might not work for your relationship.

There is no one size fits all relationship. Some things won't work for everyone. Everyone has different wants, needs, abilities, plans and goals.

Communicating with your partner about what you needs and what your expectations are is very important to make sure you are on the same page. Being on different pages about crucial pillars of your relationship will only lead to disagreements, confusion and getting hurt. Build your relationship the way it work for YOU.

Take your time, you don't have to agree on everything right now. Decide together when you'll be able to sit down or go on a walk to take the time to talk about it.

It is important to listen to your partner fully. Be fully present, don't think about what you're going to respond yet. Listen empathetically.

When the 1st partner listed out their expectations and boundaries. It is now your turn to talk about and explain yours. Once all partners were able to talk openly about what they want and need in this relationship, you can talk about the points you agree on and the ones you don't think would work for you and what you're each willing to compromise on.

It's not just "communication, communication, communication!" It's about OPEN communication and empathetic listening.

With Love,

Aude.