The Surprising Spice of Vanilla: Vanilla Is Not Boring!

What is Vanilla Sex?

What is and isn't Vanilla is subjective and changes through time. Vanilla Sex often refers to a man and a woman having PIV(penis in vagina) sex, more specifically referring to one particular sex position; missionary, but that's not all it is and not all it can be.

Once upon a time, and still now to some, oral sex was not considered Vanilla and now it is. Vanilla sex, or "conventional sex" includes the consensual exchange of power, the mutual giving and receiving of pleasure. There is no power dynamic like a dom/sub dynamic involves. Vanilla may be kink-less but it isn't boring, it isn't just the missionary position between two people in the dark.

Is Vanilla boring?

Vanilla is now the adjective used to describe things that are boring, unadventurous, unexciting and basic. It is insulting and untrue. Vanilla isn't boring! You don’t have to identify as kinky to have an exciting and experimental sex life.

All that matters is that it is consensual and feels good to you and your partner(s). It doesn't matter if your into Vanilla Sex or BDSM, as long as it works for YOU.

"Too Vanilla"?

Worried about being "too Vanilla"? Again, what is and isn't Vanilla is subjective.

Don't worry, plenty of self-proclaimed kinksters are all bark and no bite.

A good way to make sure you're on the same page about what is and isn't on the table, talk about it with your partner(s).

Vanilla is such a delicious flavor on its own. It can also be delicious with some chocolate drizzle or rainbow sprinkles. Let's see what toppings are in store today.

Some ways of spicing it up in the bedroom include:

• Slow Down - Take your time with foreplay, don't rush it. Try stopping in the middle of all the hot and heavy and kiss them, slowing things down and then get back to business (or pleasure ;) )

• Dirty Talk - Tell your partner how much you want them, tell them what you like, what you want to do to them.

• Sex Positions - Switch it up, experiment and see what positions work for you and your partner(s).

• Masturbation - Mutual masturbation or masturbate in front of each other.

• Mirror - Have sex in front of a mirror to spice things up.

• Dress Up - Lingerie it up! Surprise your partner is a sexy surprise.

• Scene - Set the scene, wether it's satin sheets, candles or play your favorite sex playlist.

• Toys - Experiment with different types of Sex Toys. There are many different types of toys to achieve different things in the bedroom. Find one that works for everyone involved.

• Massage - Give your partner a sensual full body massage.

• Porn - Watch porn together.

• Shower - Take a shower or bath together. You can either get things started in the shower/bath, or you can finish there are well. CAREFUL IT GETS SLIPPERY

• Temperature - Play with temperature warm breath or an icy tongue can make such a huge difference.

• No Kissing Allowed - Ooo what a tease you are, you won't kiss me or let me kiss you.

• Breathe - Breath can be so sensual and sexy! Breathe near your partner's ear - don't go all Darth Vader on them though (unless they're into that).

• Strip, Baby! - Take it off! Put on a show, dance for me!

With Love,

Aude.